either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
