I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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