I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
