1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
