I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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