moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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