Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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