That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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