Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
