Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
