I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
