I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize