i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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