Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
