I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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