You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
