On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Randomize
