fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
