AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
