So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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