Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
ok first of all what the fuck
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
