No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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