Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
