where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
