I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
