I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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