i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
