THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize