there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
COCAINE IS GR8
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
