It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
