i always forget guys have bellybuttons
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
