I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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