we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
