I wish you could order shots online.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Everything about him screamed your future.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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