I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
