Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
