That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
