DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
