So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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