im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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