Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize