It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just found a bag of teeth...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
