smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
