I want to stick my p in your. b.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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