fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I think your dad took our porno
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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