sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Randomize
