i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize