I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
