the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize