Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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