I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
