Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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