Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.

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(847): View more from Illinois

what did you hear about me?

(630): View more from Illinois

that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around

(630): View more from Illinois

that was hard to say and not laugh

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(315): View more from New York

MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!

(315): View more from New York

AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!

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(973): View more from New Jersey

We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.

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(44): View more from United Kingdom

I think he just caught a duck in mid flight

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk

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(386): View more from Florida

He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs

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