It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
