yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
