Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
