ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
