At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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