Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
