i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
