i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize
