you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize