Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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