bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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