i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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