I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
did you just send me my own nude
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
