so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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