Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
