Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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