Joe is yelling at the trees again.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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