I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
