Your mouth is God's brothel.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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